Serenity
There was a slight chill in the air. It was tempting for Pacer to reach for the blanket covering them both and pull it over his exposed shoulder but instead he lay there with his eyes closed until the last tendrils of slumber faded from his mind. He listened to the hushed breaths coming from Serenity. At some point in the night she had turned from nestling up against his torso to facing the other way, taking most of the blanket with her.
They had discussed it last night.
She won’t be surprised to find him long gone when she woke up later on in the morning. Still, she will be unimpressed that he didn’t wait and say goodbye. He was tempted to wake her up anyway because his body was ready and willing to revisit the sex they had last night. He also knew that Serenity would not be receptive on these mornings.
With a long slow sigh he opened his eyes. Judging by the light outside the window and hint of a clear sky behind the tall trees nearby, it was a good hour before sunrise. Pacer quietly slid out of bed and zigzagged across the small room putting on the clothes he had flung off the night previously. He glanced back at the bed and paused for a moment, before stepping out through the door.
Serenity was a great girl. They’d been together now for nearly two years and somehow managed to be good to each other so far. She was being mentored by the primary healer in the city’s northeast and had an interest in helping everyone she could. Her inquisitive mind showed a lot of promise early on and she’s already learned a great deal since beginning her training. Pacer absentmindedly tested the scar on his left shoulder from an injury she had tended to a month back and sighed.
She deserves more than me.
As the thought echoed throughout his mind he felt that those words fell short of what he truly felt. It wasn’t that he felt inadequate or even that he fell short of making her happy. They had plenty of happy memories together. It was simply that those memories and moments together seemed to be just that—a series of pleasant exchanges. There was no build up to anything, no resolution, or even resistance.
It was like their relationship was like the vast plains to the east. They could walk for hours and still not loose sight of each other. No obstructions, a completely level playing field with no where to hide.
Maybe we both deserve more.
