Not many people knchon The Bard wit, also Lord of the Wild Hunt, is actually a vegetarian. And he especially loves fruit.
However, with the disruption to the supply chains caused by the Word Wars, it started to get more difficult to get out of season produce.
And that just wouldn't do. So Happy hatched a plan. With the power of science and magic on her side, along with a textbook on grafting, she was going to get the boy some fruit.
Now, due to its enormous size and the fact that so many people live in it, a lot of people forget that the Penwall Treehouse, seat of House Ailurus, is actually, well, a tree. A maple tree, to be exact, with products such as Sticky Maple Glue.
But Happy realized that this was an opportunity to see how well she could push her werecoyote instincts and provide something nice for her partner.
In a hidden nook in the top branches of the Treehouse, she set herself up to graft into the wall itself.
She started with a mango. It went… surprisingly well.
Then she added an apple branch, because apples were also very tasty.
She thought about adding an orange branch, but she remembered that Bard preferred eating lemons to oranges, the weirdo, so she added a lemon branch instead. And then a blood orange branch for good measure because she liked blood oranges, and she figured she might as well get some fruit she liked out of it too.
In retrospect, she should probably have stopped after grafting in the bananas, but by that point, she was curious how many different kinds of fruit trees she could graft together before the Treehouse couldn't sustain it anymore.
The answer was 37, and that was because Happy ran out of wall space in the closet before the Treehouse gave up. And then she added some grape vines for the aesthetics because the grafted branches made an excellent trellis.
The grand total of fruit inside the closet orchard ended up being:
5 varieties of apple (granny smith, cosmic crisp, golden delicious, cortland, and macintosh)
3 varieties of pears (Asian pear, bosc, and comice)
5 varieties of plums (greengage, golden, italian, cherry, and catalina)
2 varieties of cherries (bing and Rainier)
4 varieties of orange (Blood oranges, tangerines, cara cara oranges, and navel oranges)
Peaches
Nectarines
Mangos
Bananas
Plantains
Apricots
Lemon
Lime
Grapefruit
Kumquat
Buddha's Hand
Breadfruit
Pomélo
Atemoya
Lychee
Loquat
Soursop
Durian
And 3 varieties of grapes (concord, Thompson, and ruby)
Almost none of these fruits were bred to be grown in this part of the world, let alone inside a closet, but Happy made sure that there were plenty of windows to let the light in and the Treehouse took care of the rest. The only side effect was a faint aftertaste of Maple Syrup.
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