House Lapin ([ LAP-in ] / lap'-in /)

House Lapin is ruled by their Chief Rabbit. It is the Chief Rabbit's duty to encourage and support their House and its members, and to be the welcoming face of hospitality for all visitors to the Warren. It is also their traditional duty to run the risks for the Warren, and to lead by example. They are traditionally addressed by their first name and the honourific "-rah" by the members of the Fluffle.   The reigning Chief Rabbit, Sable Aradia Lapin, or "Sable-rah," is a colourful and sometimes controversial figure. Coronated in 1993 when she reached the age of majority in her country of origin, Canada, she was mostly symbolic until the Tome's reawakening in 2020. As such, she governs with a strange combination of monarchial authority and working class sensibility.   The Chief Rabbit is a hereditary position, but the holder of the title must pass a series of tests, said to prove their worthiness to the great Rabbit-Spirit who is their house totem, and they must also be accepted by the House as a whole. Once coronated, by tradition, they rule the House with absolute authority until death, abdication, or formal removal by the unanimous decision of the Fluffle.   Recently, Queen Sable-rah has installed a constitutional monarchy in the Lapin Protectorate and held an election for a Parliament and a Prime Minister. This system is modeled after the political and governmental structure of Canada, which was the Queen's nation of origin and which was mostly absorbed by the Lapin Protectorate when it was formed. However, Queen Sable does not appoint a Governor General to govern the nation, nor Lieutenant Governors to govern her provinces. She takes a more direct hand, and is willing to actually exercise the traditional powers of the monarch, especially as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces. She has a reputation for her military acumen and her impressive intelligence network.   The royal family of House Lapin is... complex. Officially, the Chief Rabbit's consort is Erin Righ, although this status was temporarily removed when he became The Nite Qing. Erin Righ is a Werewolverine who was once of House Meles, and the half-brother of the Meles King Consort, Realm of Music, before marrying Sable-rah. Her acknowledged heir is Prince Jean , her eldest surviving son. She has two sisters, Princess Sunny and Princess Rowean, and a sibling, Tempest Kwake. She and Erin are also the parents of an infant Wererabbit, Princess Luna.   Erin Righ is not Sable-rah's only tie to House Meles. She is also the biological mother of Lord Galakrond and the Forgelings. However, of their number, only Prinx Xantos and Princess Jellybean are Wererabbits and choose to count themselves among the Fluffle of House Lapin.   As the biological parents of Mykola Void and Senna Nightshade, Sable-rah and Erin Righ also have direct ties to House Ailurus.   Together, the three Houses form the Woodland Family Alliance, a recently-created triumvirate. At this point, secret royals with ties to House Lapin suddenly popping up has become almost commonplace. This tends to make their enemies nervous, but the leaders of the Great Houses seem to know something that the populace at large does not.   Sable Bright-Eyes is advised and supported by her Owsla -- a dedicated cadre of bodyguards and protectors. The Mother of Bunnies expects them to not only give their best efforts in any engagement that the House Lapin takes part in, but to serve as ambassadors for the House, and commanders in her House and Protectorate security and military forces. The Lapins strongly believe in leading from the front, and never asking the Fluffle or the Protectorate to do anything they are not willing to do themselves.   James Woodwright, Captain of the Owsla is among the most loyal of House Lapin's forces. He constantly represents House Lapin, and coined the expression L4L "Lapin for Life!" and lesser known phase LA4B "Lapinites Assemble For Battle". His fellow Owsla members in 2021 were DM Stretch , Kitoypoy, and Kajetan Writes, and in The Second Word War they were joined by Gwenefre when Kajetan fell into a coma after being grievously injured.   Now that Commander Stretch is MIA, Prinx Tempest Kwake has stepped up to hold his place. They are the former leader of House Incendium, Filkmaster, and current leader, or so say the rumours, of the Chaos Cartel.

House Lapin, also sometimes referred to collectively as "the Warren" or "the Fluffle," prides itself on being welcoming, warm and fuzzy. They prefer a "team approach" to their Literomancy and writing, and don't take competition too seriously. They do have a tendency to celebrate and show off their cleverness, however. They have no patience for bullies, and enjoy showing up those who would abuse others in battles of wit. They would rather win others to their side than have to oppose them. Once underestimated, they are now deeply respected, and sometimes resented for their power and their numbers. They have proven to be fierce and dangerous fighters when cornered.   The Lapinites are multicultural, both in the everyday and literomantic worlds. Their House includes many significant members who are not Wererabbits, and their nation encompasses a variety of cultural backgrounds, and embraces immigrants. They work to create and support their social safety nets. Queen Sable chose to acknowledge even the flimsiest proof of identity to obtain citizenship in the Lapin Protectorate following The First Word War, and was the first nation to re-establish socialized medicine in the post Tome War world.  

Listen, James: I could insist we spend billions of dollars, and waste thousands of people's time, to double check official IDs for everyone who wants entry to the Protectorate; and that would probably come to nothing, anyway, since so much was lost to the destruction of the Wars. Or, I can accept anything people have, even a library card, to prove their identities, and get on with the process of taking a census so I can get the public medical system and disability benefits back up and running before I die. I'm sure you're right; some criminals and terrorists and other ne'er-do-wells are gonna sneak through. But in the meantime, somebody's grandmother isn't going to die because they can't get their insulin.

— Queen Sable, discussing her immigration policy with her Owsla Captain.

  House Lapin is always alert, even when danger seems distant. They believe that the best way to win a fight is to avoid it. The next best is to stack the odds in their favour. As Sable-rah says, "If the fight is fair, your tactics suck." They spent billions of dollars reinforcing transportation corridors and supply chains, building bunkers, and training militia and military to protect their citizens from the waves of Undead that seem destined to return each November. This proved to be their saving grace in The Third Word War, because although the Lapin Protectorate Fell at the mid-point, their population suffered the least attrition; their stronghold, The Warren, remained unbreeched; and they recovered the most quickly.   They are also adaptable. The Lapin Lira was the world currency standard, since their government was considered to be the most stable, until then. And yet, they were the architects of the Woodlander Talon after the collapse, which restablized the world economy.   Lapins are encouraged to create freely and without limits, and to pursue their many ideas with unbridled joy. Their culture is also surprisingly diplomatic, despite their apparent militarism and structure of authority; it's not just the Owsla that the Chief Rabbit listens to. They celebrate every personal accomplishment as an accomplishment for the Warren as a whole. They embrace their reputation as distractible socialites, and cheerfully joke about "Lapining through the word sprints" or "falling down Lapin holes."   House Lapin looks to the tales of El-ahrairah and the Watership Down Warren for inspiration, along with the exploits of Bugs Bunny, Peter Rabbit, and other trickster-bunnies and -hares. The Mother of Bunnies claims many of them in her lineage, including Hazel-rah, Chief Rabbit of the legendary Watership Down warren, and Dandelion, their legendary storyteller. She also claims some connection to the Rabbit of Caerbannog, although the nature of that connection remains unclear. Her enemies claim she is telling tall tales -- but rabbits are good at that.   The Mother of Bunnies has a sort of "Granny Weatherwax" reputation; loving but sarcastic, stern yet warm and encouraging. She is a passionate creature who is known both for her enthusiasm in the creations of her House members, and for her unequivocal rants.

To protect the world from the threat of the Undead Horde, and to protect the The Iron Tome from those who would use it irresponsibly or for ill. To that end, they also actively encourage the development and study of Literomancy however they can. It is also common for them to support rabbit rescues and literacy charities.   Recently, the Lapin Protectorate has declared The Company a terrorist organization, and seems to be on the warpath for them. The Protectorate has seized several Company assets, arrested hundreds of Company employees, and rumour has it, conducted a handful of black op raids on Company facilities.

House Lapin has claimed many of the assets that were once part of Western and Central Canada and part of the assets of the former United States. They were especially focused on seizing military assets in the early years, so they have a large, well equipped military, and an advanced data acquisition and surveillance system. They have also seized control of a significant, but undisclosed number of former US and Canadian military and telecommunications satellites. They have nuclear power, and, almost certainly, nuclear weapons.   In recent years, they have become known for their weapons manufacturing, and they actively supply both House Ailurus and House Meles in return for other assets. They have medical, biochemical, and pharmaceutical research facilities, a well-developed energy sector in both conventional and green energies, and having claimed Silicone Valley in their Protectorate, they have a booming tech industry as well.   They have control of most of the major ports on the West Coast of North America: Anchorage, Prince Rupert, Vancouver, and San Francisco, so subsequently, they have a significant shipping industry. They have built upon this by seizing control of the railways within their Protectorate's borders, and they run these under a single Crown Corporation.   With Vancouver and Hollywood in their Protectorate's borders, they also have a booming film industry.

Early History

House Lapin was likely founded sometime during the late Bronze Age. Evidence of militant and magical rabbits remains in countless medieval manuscripts and ancient folktales. They were a significant family in the Middle East, the Languedoc, and Iberia during the Middle Ages. At one point, they divided into two factions; a Jewish branch, who were primarily settled in Iberia, and a Christian troubadour branch, in what is now southern France. There may have been an Asian branch at one time as well, but if so, the details are lost to history.   With the arrival of the Albigensian Crusade, the troubadours were driven out of France, and the survivors moved to Iberia to join the rest of the family. But the Reconquista soon drove them out of Iberia as well. The Lapin family settled in Poland and blended in with the Ashkenazi community there. They were instrumental in supporting the development and widespread use of the printing press, and perhaps strangely for a monarchial House, they actively supported the Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth, probably because it was highly advanced in its religious tolerance.  

20th to 21st Centuries

One of the earliest Houses to give up its claim to title in the Realm, House Lapin's influence dwindled after the end of the Golden Age of Literomancy. By the outbreak of World War II, they were fully immersed in the Polish Ashkenazi community.   The details remain sketchy, mostly due to loss of records, but it is clear that Sable-rah's grandmother, then Chief Rabbit, fled Poland for Canada to escape the Holocaust, taking with her the key to the Lapin Library and the few artifacts that remained to the House. She lied about her background to gain access, because Canada was not open to Jewish immigrants at that time, and started a relationship with a Canadian soldier, resulting in the birth of Sable's father. She then disappeared when Sable's father, William, was still an infant, but she left the Lapin Library key with instructions for William to bequeath it to his daughter when she came of age. It is generally accepted by House Lapin that she, like Sable-rah, had a touch of what the House calls Fiver's Insight, which is an ability to catch glimpses of, or feelings about, the future.   Sable took the Carrot Throne in 1993, at the age of 18. She called together as many of the scattered remnants of House Lapin as she could at the time, and demanded to be administered the traditional Tests of the Chief Rabbit, so there could be no question of her legitimacy. Though the details remain a secret of House Lapin, apparently, she passed them all, and was subsequently coronated. Whether this was also a touch of Fiver's Insight remains a matter of speculation.  

The First Word War

The outbreak of the First Word War saw the return of The Iron Tome and the Undead Horde for the first time in centuries, and ushered in a new Age of Literomancy. House Lapin suddenly found themselves leading an army in a war for their survival.   Sable-rah was the only House Leader to survive the fall of her House. The survivors fled to House Mollusca to support the Cosmic Kraken, who claimed the Iron Tome when they achieved victory in the war.   In the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, with the collapse of society, systems of government reformed around the literomantic Great Houses, and House Lapin suddenly found itself at the head of an empire.   Sable Aradia had been raised in a blue collar family and was working as a freelance journalist at the time. The shift was challenging, but she embraced her duty. Through careful management of resources and an eye to compassion, she guided the newly-minted Lapin Protectorate into a speedy recovery, and the standard of living for people in the Protectorate quickly approached what they were prior to the First Word War.  

Tourney of Tales April 2021

When The Queen Bee DaniAdventures suggested it might be a good idea to reinsitute traditional literomantic competitions known as the Tourneys of Tales, in order to keep their skills sharp in case another threat reared its head, House Lapin agreed to support the effort, albeit reluctantly.   Showing their social natures, they organized a Grand Feast at the Warren during the first Tourney, held in April of 2021, which helped to build relationships between the Houses, and steered the direction of House politics.   House Lapin comported itself well in the April Tourney. In the first Grand Melee, they were defeated early, but in the second, they were only beaten by the prowess of House Meles, led to victory by power writer WalkingDeadLover. Three Lapins, Queen Sable, AmelieIS, and Gwenefre, made the Leaderboard for their writing or editing prowess. They finished third in the Tourney overall, beaten by Mollusca and Meles.  

Tourney of Tales July 2021

House Lapin was the victorious House in the July Tourney of Tales 2021, largely due to a scandal disqualifying the most prolific writer in House Meles.  

The Second Word War

House Lapin started the Second Word War at odds with House Chiroptera, having blamed them for a Zombie Summoning Totem that appeared near their traditional seat of power because it took the shape of a bat. However, over the course of the war, as it became clear that there was a new Nite Monarq once again posing a threat, Chiroptera and Lapin banded together. When House Chiroptera fell, they and all their bannermen joined up with House Lapin, Sable-rah found herself heading the Grand Alliance, the "greatest alliance the Realm had ever seen." She led them to victory in 2021, and claimed The Iron Tome.  

Tourney of Tales April 2022

Distracted by numerous assassination attempts against the Chief Rabbit, the disappearance of DM Stretch, and the need to secure and possibly move The Warren, and lacking support from Minor Houses, House Lapin finished 4th overall, although they scored the 2nd highest word count of the individual Houses, beaten only by Mollusca.  

July Tourney of Tales 2022

House Lapin was plagued by a media scandal during the July Tourney, as Queen Sable took the GOT News Network to court for violation of privacy, and they counteracted with a smear campaign. A firm called The Company, which seemed to have an issue with the Lapin family, capitalized on this effort. After some egregious examples of privacy violations and harassment, and of lying in the media, the suit was settled out of court. The Company was declared a terrorist organization and banned in the Lapin Protectorate, and charges were made against them by the Lapin Protectorate in the International Criminal Court. Somehow, they took home the pennant in the middle of all this.  

The Third Word War

Lord Galakrond launched The Third Word War by stealing the Iron Tome from his mother after a Halloween party. Somehow, both he and ECC Books of House Sauropoda ended up as Night Monarchs.   "Lord GalaWight" focused his recruitment efforts for the Horde on his family, managing to take out four of Queen Sable Bright-Eyes' ten children, with him as the fifth undead among them. The Warren fell in The Battle of Kin Beach and Battle of Aldergrove. They, along with the rest of House Meles and House Ailurus formed the Woodland Family Alliance and supported House Sauropoda for the remainder of the war.   Queen Sable's preparations in infrastructure and logistics served the Protectorate well, saving the populace from much of the attrition that is typical of a House that has fallen at that stage of the war, and the Warren remained impervious, even though it had to be abandoned.   Combining forces with Prinx Tempest and the Mother of Bunnies to unlock the use of filking magic, after referencing notes left by ECC Books before becoming the Night Monarch, Good King Bob of House Sauropoda successfully claimed the Iron Tome for the living. Sable Bright-Eyes, supported and aided by Prinx Tempest and their technomancer husband, Buddha Kwake, dueled Lord GalaWight, resulting in the Badger Prince's resurrection. Queen Sable's children were all successfully resurrected by filking magic at the end of the war, although the Star Bunny suffered critical Magic Drain in the process.  

Present

The Woodland Family Alliance has been actively blending many aspects of their nations. They have signed treaties that allow open borders, dual or triple citizenships, free trade, and a unified currency. Erin Righ has started calling himself "Erin Meles" rather than "Erin Lapin," and this, according to the Lapin Household, is meant to honour their strong ties to the Meles family. The "Woodland Family" has spent much time together in the war's aftermath, with all three Houses staying primarily at the Warren as construction and repairs go on for Ailurus and Meles. Rumour has it that Lapin is actively assisting Meles in incorporating many of their proven protections into the structure of Windy Willows as well.   The Mother of Bunnies is thought to still be recovering from her war injuries, although little sign has been given of this, other than she has recruited Dame Flubb to help her mind her self care. According to all reports, she is eating more regularly and sleeping more.   A new princess, Princess Luna, has been born to the royal family. She has been aggressively sheltered from the media by the Lapins, but in her rare appearances, she has charmed everyone. Now five months old, it is clear that she is also a Wererabbit and may possibly be Voidtouched like her mother.

Population by Province, Territory, or State

Alaska 586,139

Nunavut 30,915

Northwest Territories 35,861

British Columbia 4,056,800

Alberta 3,496,800

Saskatchewan 939,200

Manitoba 1,095,200

Ontario 11,656,000

California 31,392,000

Arizona 5,820,800

Total Population: 59,109,715   Most of Lapin's population lives south of the 49th Parallel, with the greatest concentrations of people in the southern Californian region and Niagara Penninsula. There are some population hotspots around Metro Vancouver, the Okanagan Valley, Victoria, the Edmonton-Calgary corridor, and in Sacramento, Contra Costa, Alameda, and Santa Clara Counties. Average life expectancy after the zombie apocalypse is some of the best in the world, with men averaging 76 years and women 80.

The Lapin Protectorate has inherited the problems that Canada and the United States faced in regards to their Indigenous peoples. While the Protectorate could have ignored land claims because those agreements were with the Canadian Crown and Canada no longer exists, the Protectorate has chosen to honour previous treaty claims, and is working to find positive solutions that benefit everyone. While they have made it clear that they do not feel they are responsible for the genocide against the First Nations, the Protectorate has a fund that is designated to help survivors of the residential school system and other forms of genocide that took place on Lapin territory in the past.  

I am not the Canadian Monarch, nor the American President, so previous agreements were not made by powers I represent. However, the Lapin Protectorate is a clear benefactor of a Colonialist legacy, and as a result, we can, and should, do what we can to balance the scales.

— Queen Sable regarding the recognition of First Nations treaty claims

The Lapin military is well-funded and popular. About 10% of the Lapinite population has served, or is serving, in the Lapin military, with another 10% having served, or currently serving, in the Reserves. All Lapinite citizens between the ages of 18-20 are required to serve 2 years in the Lapin Armed Forces. The regular and reserve forces routinely hold training weekends for the general populace to familiarize themselves with basic zombie self-defense techniques, which are free and open to the public. Employers are also required to allow time off for anyone who wants to attend one. Most adults under the age of 40 are members of the militia.   When the reg forces are not actively at war, they are training, training the general public, assisting with engineering and security, or conducting tech research, which makes the strain of maintaining such a large standing military less burdensome.   The Armed Forces are constantly on the lookout for literomancers that they can recruit into House Lapin's Tome Knights. House Lapin funds the World Literomantic Academy in the hopes of nurturing and training more literomancers as well.  

Distribution of Branches of the Armed Forces:

Army 35%

Navy 25%

Air Force 20%

Marines 15%

Coast Guard 5%

Literomancers make up a negligible percentage of the Armed Forces due to their rarity.

House Lapin generally gives homage to Lord Frith and the cultural hero El-ahrairah, although there are significant Lapin populations who embrace Asian and First Nations faiths and folklores, especially stories associated with trickster-rabbits or the Rabbit in the Moon. The freedom to believe as you choose is enshrined in Lapinite law and tradition.   Lapinite citizens are mostly Christians (about 50%,) with significant populations of Non-Religious, Buddhists, Muslims, Sikhs, Jews, Hindus, Indigenous, Jains, Shintoists, and New Religions (Neo-Pagan and New Age.) Lapinite Christians are about evenly divided between Catholics and Protestants, with about 3% of the population affliating as Orthodox, and they also have the highest population of Mormons outside of Utah (just shy of a million, or about 5% of the total population.)

Lapin law is based in Canada law and, prior to that, English common law. There is a greater tendency to lean towards the "social" side of the "social democracy" scale, because it is a goal of the Lapin Protectorate to be as self-sufficient as possible. This is part of the defense strategy of the Mother of Bunnies.  

Trade is important. But the less we have to depend on other Protectorates for access to our basic needs -- food, shelter, water, protection, medicine -- then the less likely those things are to be disrupted during wartime. The Woodland Alliance is to everyone's mutual benefit because we are all working to protect and provide all of those things for each other, giving us backup access if our own systems fail. It's the best of both worlds; or at least, that's my hope.

— Queen Sable in an interview on OneWorld News

  Towards this end, any industry that becomes an effective monopoly in the Lapin Protectorate can be seized by the Crown for public use. It was this policy that caused tech giant Gobble to move their headquarters from Silicone Valley to New York. This policy enforces greater competition in Lapin's industries than might be present elsewhere.  

Well, Gobble's move is regrettable. On the other hand, I simply don't think it's good policy to have so much that is so important under the thumb of a single oligarch who might decide to revoke access at any time and for any reason. Or might, perhaps, be made to serve the Horde with a big enough investment. It's not like Gobble won't continue to operate here -- there's too much money to be had, and they know it. But there is room for competition to develop now as well, and that will prevent the controlling of information to serve a single corporation's agenda.

— Queen Sable in the same interview

The Lapin Protectorate has a significant fruit and nut industry in BC and California, and a significant "bread basket" region in the Prairies and Ontario. There is also a large and robust dairy and ranching industry in almost every part of the Protectorate. However, the population in the southern states is simply too large to sustain by the agriculture that Lapin is capable of managing, so they still depend on the Meles Protectorate to import much of their food supply, particularly in the form of grain.   The natural resources industries are robust as well, although the constant threat of existential war in November has led the Lapin Protectorate to require that quotas of these natural resources be sold to the Protectorate first. Their energy sector has a significant surplus which is traded to other Protectorates and nations, thanks to a surplus of energy resources and the efforts of Princess Rowean to fund, support, and sustain green energy technologies. They refine the oil they harvest from within their own borders when possible.   The manufacturing sector is strong as well. Lapin manufactures tech products, electrical and industrial machinery, cars, airplanes, plastics, chemical products, and military arms and weaponry.

Education in the Lapin Protectorate is mandatory from Kindergarten to Grade 12. There are numerous trade schools, colleges, and universities. There was a strong push to make post-secondary education free in most of the Protectorate's regions before the First Word War, but in the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, this is simply not feasible, and most of the population realizes it. Still, efforts have been made in that direction, by encouraging corporations and non-profits to offer scholarships in return for tax breaks. Since opportunities for significant tax breaks are rare, scholarships are numerous and widely available.   Some of the more respected universities in the Protectorate include Stanford University, the California Institute of Technology, the University of California in Berkeley, Arizona State University, the University of Toronto, the University of Waterloo, McMaster University, the University of British Columbia, the University of Alberta, and the University of Calgary.

House Lapin takes its infrastructure very seriously. They have spent billions on reinforcing their transportation corridors, from highways to rail systems. All major cities have underground bunkers, storage lockers, and armouries, with a mind to surviving the Undead Horde.They fund this, and their public medical system, by setting their income tax base at 30%, and this increases significantly after a declared income more than $100 million.