Buddha Kwake (a.k.a. Calico Beard)
General Physical Condition
Buddha is a big guy. He's very strong, but also carries a lot of extra weight. He is strong enough to do things like toss a 75 lb anvil in the air a few times, but sometimes struggles with physical stamina. He also has mild asthma, adding to the lack of stamina.
Buddha has a Chinese symbol for chaos on his right shoulder and a yin yang surrounded by a sun on his left shoulder. Also his hair and beard are both comprised of every human color of hair, leading to Tempest occasionally calling him "Calico Beard."
Buddha's head is very large. He wears a size 8.5 hat, while Tempest wears a size 4.
Buddha is a technomancer as well as a literomancer, although he is very shy about displaying either skill in public.
Apparel & Accessories
Like Tempest, Buddha tends to dress casually unless he needs to dress in more formal attire. Typically found wearing a graphic tee, cargo shorts, and sandals, he has also been seen wearing a button up shirt for SWW News segments. Since he has only been seen from the waist up, Tempest surmises he continues to wear the cargo shorts even on air.
Buddha has a coffin handle staff that he used to beat zombies into submission during The Third Word War. How he got a coffin handle to use as staff, no one is quite certain and several people are afraid to ask.
Buddha was born in the 1337 Speak reality and moved to this reality only a few months ago. Not much is known about his life there yet, other than he met and married Tempest Kwake there.
While Buddha presents and dominantely identifies as male, he is not at all shy about admitting he has parts of him that are not male at all. This is why his pronouns are he/they instead of he/him.
Buddha was educated in a different reality, so technically speaking he doesn't have one, but in the 1337 Speak reality he has a Bachelor's degree in theater.
Buddha was hired at SWW News as a backup anchor during the The Third Word War when WriterGreg caught Mancer Mumps. During the latter part of the war, Buddha was the only anchor available for the last broadcast before the zombies attacked for the Battle of Mount Mitchell. It is suspected he will return to SWW News after everyone is done recovering from the war.
Accomplishments & Achievements
Buddha is the only known person to have moved from one reality to another. While this technically also applies to his spouse, Prinx Tempest, they were actually returning to this reality after an extended absense. Buddha was born in the 1337 Speak reality and moved to this one to be with his spouse.
Buddha has severe self-esteem and self doubt issues, often thinking or saying he is not worthy of the attention of Prinx Tempest. They vehemently disagree with this and try to bolster his ego whenever possible.
Buddha has higher than average intelligence and reasoning skills. He is an excellent teacher, including being able to teach Tempest of all people how to multiply in a fashion that is easier for them to understand. He retains information easily and loves learning.
Buddha's main motivation is keeping Tempest alive and happy. He will do anything to keep them around, knowing his spouse is fragile in both body and mind.
Likes & Dislikes
- Teaching people who want to learn
- People who drive in the passing lane when they are not passing anyone and are in fact going very slow
Buddha is an agnostic buddhist, not really believing or disbelieving in any god but also not disbelieving in any gods.
Buddha is very social, communicating far better with people than Tempest ever has. He is so adept at peopling that Tempest will sometimes ask him to speak for them if they need to not ruffle already ruffled feathers. He is also very good at understanding what Tempest means, even when they are not articulating clearly.
"Y'know, the thingy for the stuff." "... the potato peeler?"
Buddha can sometimes be a little stiff in his mannerisms if he doesn't know you well or feels uncomfortable.
Buddha has a deep, rich bass voice that many find pleasant to listen to. This is why he got a job so easily with SWW News.
This article is a work in progress, and may be subject to changes.
This article is part of a series related to streaming the Game of Tomes. For more information, see Streaming Game of Tomes.
Confused by everything but trying to roll with it
Date of Birth
"I'm not really sure how dates work in this reality. Do we have the same calendar system?"
Circumstances of Birth
"My mom was eating really good tacos when she went into labor. I guess I just wanted to taste them for myself!"
The 1337 Speak reality
Tempest Kwake (spouse)
Prinx Tempest's burrows in the Warren
Male, but not attached to the label
Yellow-brown, almost honey colored
Long, reddish, between blond and brown, with literally every color of hair interspersed throughout. Often defined by Prinx Tempest as "calico hair"
Quotes & Catchphrases
And may the words be ever in your favor.
- English (native)
- Bad English (fluent)
- French (conversant)
The Care and Feeding of Literomancers according to Buddha Kwake