Adrian pulled the car into the drive, turned off the engine, and got out. All while Jared sat staring at nothing. He closed his eyes against the pressure of the Dark rolling itself against his ribs. The apartment seemed like an insurmountable distance. Adrian opened the passenger door, and Jared looked up at him, afraid that Adrian was actually going to carry him into the house.
“You alright?” Adrian asked.
Jared nodded. “I’m just drained.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have used the injection,” Adrian said.
Jared shrugged and stood. Always the same after the Unhealthy Psychostimulant. He would never tell Adrian how much he missed the drugs, the way they made him feel in combat. The sharpness. The speed. The way his body could move. It was incredible. Until it ended. Then came the crash. The ache.
Jared shuffled into the building, pressed the elevator button. Stared at the glowing number. Adrian’s eyes on him, heavy. In the elevator, he caught his reflection in the ceiling mirror. He looked bad. Hollow. But it would fade. It always did.
Adrian followed him down the hallway, close enough to catch him if he fell. Jared sighed, fished the key from his wallet. The door slid open with its familiar whisk.
Inside, Adrian moved around, busy. Jared took the protein shake, drank it on his way to the bathroom. The empty bottle clattered onto the counter. He undressed, leaving a trail of clothes behind him.
He turned the shower as hot as it would go and stepped in. Water fell over him. Time slipped. He didn’t know how long he stood there before Adrian entered, moving quietly. The shower door slid open. Adrian stepped in behind him.
No words. Adrian moved slowly, washing him with careful hands. He reached past Jared, turned the water down. Soap, slick and warm, glided over his skin. Fingers pressed into the knots in his muscles, working them loose. The water stopped. Adrian wrapped him in a towel.
“You have clean clothes on the bed,” Adrian said while he rubbed the towel briskly.
Jared nodded.
“Do you want me to dress you?” Adrian asked.
Jared blushed, shook his head. He hadn’t asked to be washed, but it had been good. The aftereffects of the drug washed away, mostly. He felt almost like himself. Only the Dark remained, prowling under his skin, pressing up, insistent.
Everything Adrian did felt wonderful. But it made him small. Helpless. Not even an adult. Jared sighed, pulled the towel from Adrian’s hands, and stepped out of the shower, eyes down.
Shame burned in him.
He left Adrian in the shower, walked to the bedroom. Water started again behind him. Did it bother Adrian? Jared never knew. He flopped onto the bed, rolled into the blankets. Adrian was stone, a perfect carving. Nothing showed beneath.
Jared closed his eyes, drifted. Sleep, thin and restless. Adrian slipped into the bed behind him. Hot skin against his own. Thighs fitting perfectly, bodies pressed close. The hard line of Adrian’s erection settled into the small of his back. Jared’s breath caught. A low growl. Adrian’s lips brushed his neck, nuzzled his shoulder. An arm draped over him, hand resting on his stomach.
"Tell me to let you sleep," Adrian whispered. His voice was a soft, gentle whisper and a sharp contrast to the demanding press of his erection.
“No,” Jared rasped. He pushed Adrian’s hand down his stomach until it brushed against the tip of his own erection.
Adrian’s fingers trailed down, along the inside of Jared’s thigh. He cupped him, gentle. Teeth glided along Jared’s shoulder. As Adrian’s hand closed around him, he bit down. Hard. Enough to break skin.
Jared cried out. Pleasure broke his hold on the Dark. It slipped out, cool and weightless, pouring from his skin with his breath. A new pleasure. Lightness. Openness. It coursed through him, senses alive, changing him. His hair deepened to a deep black. Fingernails lengthened, gleamed obsidian. When he opened his eyes, they were pools of black, feral, and hungry.
A living veil of night settled over them. Cool, weightless as silk. Something snapped into place. Adrian’s breath caught as sensation flooded him. Jared’s sensation. The ache. The desperate throb. Need pooling deep. Doubt. Fear. Certainty of not being enough.
Is this alright? Am I hurting him? Can he even want this? What if I lose control?
And over it all, shame. Unworthiness. The ache of wanting Adrian and not deserving him.
“Jared,” Adrian whispered. He wanted to erase it all. But there was nothing he could say that would make Jared believe. He hugged Jared tightly.
Jared was lost in the Dark, not noticing the communion, the projection into Adrian’s mind. He rode the high of his own power, his own need. Beautiful. Terrifying. Shadow and desire. He rolled over, predator’s grace, pushing Adrian onto his back, covering him. Darkness swirled. Jared’s mouth found Adrian’s. Searing, desperate, all teeth and hunger. Bottomless ache.
He pressed himself against Adrian’s stomach, the thrusts frantic. Then he shifted, a hand reaching between them to guide Adrian inside.
Adrian’s hands came up, firm on Jared’s hips, stopping him. “Jared, wait. We need to slow down.”
A low growl rumbled in Jared’s chest. Pure frustration. Shadows pulsed.
His thumbs stroked the sharp angles of Jared’s hip bones. He looked up into those endless black eyes. “Be a good boy for me and lie on your stomach.”
The command stirred something deep. The growl faded. Jared rolled over, face buried in the pillow, shuddering. He hoped Adrian didn’t see the blush. His body was a tense line, anticipation thrumming. The Dark shimmered over his skin, oil on water.
Shame pulsed between them. But beneath it, the need to be owned, to be cared for. Jared pressed himself into the bed, trying to hide his flushed cheeks. Adrian watched.
Adrian could give him what he needed, even if Jared was too ashamed to ask. Strong hands gripped his hips, lifting him. A pillow tucked beneath, lifting, exposing. Jared shuddered.
“Shh,” Adrian soothed, his voice a low rumble. One broad hand stroked down the line of his spine, a calming, possessive gesture. “Just relax.”
Jared pressed into the pillow. Skin cold and burning, the Dark pulsing over him. One hand fisted the sheet, the other took hold of himself.
“So impatient,” Adrian whispered.
A cap snapped open. Adrian’s hand, cool lubricant slick against his skin. Jared moaned, took himself in both hands, rocking his hips into his fists.
Adrian watched as Jared pleasured himself, forgetting he was not alone. More lubricant, cool fingers tracing along Jared’s cleft. Jared jumped, moaning at the contact. Adrian’s other hand pressed firmly on his back, holding him.
A finger pressed in, slow, insistent. Jared lifted into it, pushing deeper. The Dark flared, white-hot. Adrian gasped, suddenly inside his own body, inside Jared’s. The feel of it. He curled his finger, searching, finding the spot that made Jared’s body bow off the bed, a choked moan torn from his throat. Jared’s hands clung to the bed, hips straining, Adrian’s hand holding him down.
Dizzying feedback. Adrian felt the jolt of pleasure as if it were his own. A lightning strike up his spine. A second finger, slow. Each movement sent waves through their nerves, tangled together. Jared’s control unraveled.
“Please,” Jared begged, his voice ragged. The Dark swirled around them, filling the room and pulsing in time with Jared's heartbeat.
“Tell me what you want,” Adrian commanded.
Jared moaned, straining upward against Adrian’s hand, fingers working inside him.
Shame, a shearing bolt through the Dark. Jared buried his face into the bed, panting. Silent. But the images came. Adrian gasped at the intensity. Secret fantasies. Fleeting hopes. Everything Jared had ever dreamed Adrian would do flooded his mind. Adrian kept it all.
“Tell me what you want,” Adrian commanded again.
Jared panted, writhed against Adrian’s hand. For a moment, Adrian thought he wouldn’t say it. Then, quiet, shaking: "fuck me."
Adrian needed nothing more. The Dark was a live wire, thrumming with Jared’s desperation, his own need. He withdrew his fingers. Jared whimpered, hips pushing back into empty air.
Adrian watched Jared take hold of himself, stroking hard. The Dark swirled around them. Adrian coated himself with cool gel, positioned, the broad head nudging Jared’s entrance.
He pressed forward, slow, inexorable. Resistance, immense. Silken heat clung to him, refusing to yield. Through the connection, Adrian felt the spike of sensation in Jared. A sharp, breathless stretch, pain melting into fullness. Jared’s muffled cry was shock and relief.
Adrian held there, buried in clenching heat. He dropped forward, weight braced on his forearms, blanketing Jared’s back. Lips pressed to the nape of Jared’s neck, feeling the frantic flutter of his pulse.
Breathe, my love. Just breathe. Feel me. By the Gods, you are perfect.
The Dark pulsed with their heartbeats, alive, tightening the bond. Jared moved, guttural sound in his throat. He pushed up onto hands and knees, forcing Adrian back. The new angle was exquisite. Both of them gasped.
Jared moved, slow, experimental roll of his hips, pushing back. Clumsy at first, uncoordinated. But the intent was pure, feral need. Adrian’s hands found his hips, fingers pressing into shadow-slick skin, guiding him.
“That’s it,” Adrian encouraged, his voice husky. “Just like that.”
Adrian set a deep, measured pace. Each thrust, deliberate, soul-searing. The Dark swirled, tendrils of nothingness caressing heated skin, amplifying sensation. Jared’s pleasure echoed in Adrian’s nerves.
Overwhelming. Perfect. But Adrian wanted more. He wanted to see him.
One fluid motion. Adrian’s arm wrapped around Jared’s chest, hauling him upright, back against his chest. Jared’s head lolled onto Adrian’s shoulder. The new position drove Adrian deeper. Jared cried out, obsidian-clawed hands scrabbling for purchase.
“Adrian!”
“I want to see you,” Adrian murmured, breath ghosting over Jared’s ear. One arm banded across Jared’s chest, holding him. The other hand drifted down, fingers wrapping around Jared’s aching length. Jared bucked, a strangled moan torn from him. “God…”
“Ride me, Jared,” Adrian commanded, his voice dropping to a dark, possessive whisper. “Show me how much you need this.”
Jared froze. Old insecurities flared through the connection. Am I doing it right? Is this what he wants? Uncertainty trembled in his muscles.
“You are perfect,” Adrian stated, the words leaving no room for argument. He squeezed his length in his hand, a firm, encouraging stroke. “Now. Move.”
The command broke him free. Jared obeyed, lifting on his knees, shaky breath, then sinking down, taking Adrian to the hilt. Awkward, unpracticed, devastating. Adrian met him with a thrust. Jared’s broken cry filled the room.
Again. And again. Each drop, each surrender, more confident. Awkwardness burned away in the furnace of pleasure. A raw, grinding rhythm, theirs alone. Adrian’s hand worked him in time, slick and tight, counterpoint to their joining.
Adrian buried his face in the crook of Jared’s shoulder, inhaling sweat, shadow, Jared. Feral energy, intoxicating. The need to mark, to claim, to reassure this beautiful, fractured man surged through him.
He opened his mouth against the corded muscle of Jared’s shoulder and bit down.
Not a playful nip. A claim. Hard. Possessive. Unforgettable.
Jared screamed. His body seized, clenching around Adrian, a shattering wave of pleasure-pain ricocheting through the connection. Copper bloomed on Adrian’s tongue. The taste of blood, of Jared, sent a dark thrill through him.
The Dark coalesced, shadows thickening, drinking in Jared’s cry, the scent of their joining. It pulsed around them, a third presence in their dance.
Jared’s movements turned frantic, rhythm lost, driven by instinct. So close. Teetering on the edge. His pleasure screamed through Adrian’s mind.
Adrian gentled the bite, soothing lick over the reddening mark. “Easy,” he breathed, control fraying. Thrusts harder, deeper, pistoning into heat. His hand moved faster, thumb swiping over slickness. “Let go. I have you. I will always have you.”
He felt it. The tidal wave building in Jared, through the connection, through frantic clenching. Adrian’s own climax coiled tight, a live wire ready to snap.
“Look at me, Jared,” he commanded, his voice rough with strain. “I want to see you when you fall.”
With effort, Jared turned his head, pitch-black eyes meeting Adrian’s. In those endless depths, Adrian saw everything. Fear, trust, love, and shattering ecstasy.
“I’m… I can’t…” Jared choked, body trembling.
Adrian took hold of Jared by the throat with one hand and grabbed his hip with the other. He drove himself into Jared savagely. He bit him again, marking him again in blood next to the previous bite. Jared cried out and came into Adrian’s fist. Adrian continued his thrusts, holding Jared tightly, and finished shortly after Jared.
They collapsed onto the bed together in a tangle of arms and legs, panting hard. Adrian rolled onto his back and pulled Jared against his chest. Jared buried his face against Adrian’s neck, hiding.
