Internal Report: The Chocolate Fountain Incident
Incident Report # 17786: The Chocolate Performance Art
Report filed by: Seneshal HappyHappySadDate of Incident: May 3rd, 2026
Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
Description of Incident:
Today at approximately 0900 hours, I was informed of a new art installation in the Penwall Community Garden. As I had not approved the permits for a new art installation, this alarmed me somewhat. I took the opportunity for a morning walk and decided to investigate the errant artwork myself.
When I arrived at the Park, it was immediately obvious what the report had been referring to. One of the pre-existing fountains in the park had seemingly been converted overnight into a chocolate fountain. The water in the basin had completely been replaced with liquid chocolate, although it was perhaps a little runnier that your typical melted chocolate.
Probably for ease of pumping. I’m sure the existing infrastructure wasn’t built to move a liquid that thick, so they must have come up with some kind of solution that involved changing the viscosity while retaining the other original properties of the chocolate-
But I must apologize; this isn’t an engineering report. I decided that we needed to deal with this unfortunate incident before it got too out of hand. Already, several children had tried to play in the fountain and come out looking they had been dipped in, well, chocolate.
The chocolate water would have been bad enough to clean up by itself, but the most difficult part of the incident was the unauthorized installation on top of the fountain. There appeared to be a statue entirely made of chocolate at the highest point. It took the form of a young woman in a dancing pose.
I say “appeared to be”, because as soon as I approached and tried to take it down, the statue came to life. Apparently she was a student from the Penwall Arts Academy and she was doing some sort of performance art piece for her class. This is not an uncommon occurrence, of course; students are even permitted to create permanent works of art around the city such as sculpture or murals, provided that they obtain the correct permits first.
This student did not obtain the correct permits.
She became very angry when I informed her that because it hadn't been done with malicious intent, she wasn’t in trouble, but she was going to have to vacate the premises so we could clean out the fountain.
When I arrived at the Park, it was immediately obvious what the report had been referring to. One of the pre-existing fountains in the park had seemingly been converted overnight into a chocolate fountain. The water in the basin had completely been replaced with liquid chocolate, although it was perhaps a little runnier that your typical melted chocolate.
Probably for ease of pumping. I’m sure the existing infrastructure wasn’t built to move a liquid that thick, so they must have come up with some kind of solution that involved changing the viscosity while retaining the other original properties of the chocolate-
But I must apologize; this isn’t an engineering report. I decided that we needed to deal with this unfortunate incident before it got too out of hand. Already, several children had tried to play in the fountain and come out looking they had been dipped in, well, chocolate.
The chocolate water would have been bad enough to clean up by itself, but the most difficult part of the incident was the unauthorized installation on top of the fountain. There appeared to be a statue entirely made of chocolate at the highest point. It took the form of a young woman in a dancing pose.
I say “appeared to be”, because as soon as I approached and tried to take it down, the statue came to life. Apparently she was a student from the Penwall Arts Academy and she was doing some sort of performance art piece for her class. This is not an uncommon occurrence, of course; students are even permitted to create permanent works of art around the city such as sculpture or murals, provided that they obtain the correct permits first.
This student did not obtain the correct permits.
She became very angry when I informed her that because it hadn't been done with malicious intent, she wasn’t in trouble, but she was going to have to vacate the premises so we could clean out the fountain.
After some back and forth, she eventually got off the fountain and left, but not before splashing me with chocolate and ruining my tie.
Her instructor has been informed and resources have been provided for how to apply for the proper permits and grants when any public property is utilized in their classwork. Hopefully this will be last incident of this kind for a while. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
Her instructor has been informed and resources have been provided for how to apply for the proper permits and grants when any public property is utilized in their classwork. Hopefully this will be last incident of this kind for a while. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
Image donated to the report by Imogen
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad standing by the Chocolate Fountain with a chocolate student on top
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