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Internal Report: The Chocolate Fountain Incident

Incident Report # 17786: The Chocolate Performance Art

Report filed by: Seneshal HappyHappySad
  Date of Incident: May 3rd, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
Today at approximately 0900 hours, I was informed of a new art installation in the Penwall Community Garden. As I had not approved the permits for a new art installation, this alarmed me somewhat. I took the opportunity for a morning walk and decided to investigate the errant artwork myself.
  When I arrived at the Park, it was immediately obvious what the report had been referring to. One of the pre-existing fountains in the park had seemingly been converted overnight into a chocolate fountain. The water in the basin had completely been replaced with liquid chocolate, although it was perhaps a little runnier that your typical melted chocolate.
  Probably for ease of pumping. I’m sure the existing infrastructure wasn’t built to move a liquid that thick, so they must have come up with some kind of solution that involved changing the viscosity while retaining the other original properties of the chocolate-
  But I must apologize; this isn’t an engineering report. I decided that we needed to deal with this unfortunate incident before it got too out of hand. Already, several children had tried to play in the fountain and come out looking they had been dipped in, well, chocolate.
  The chocolate water would have been bad enough to clean up by itself, but the most difficult part of the incident was the unauthorized installation on top of the fountain. There appeared to be a statue entirely made of chocolate at the highest point. It took the form of a young woman in a dancing pose.
  I say “appeared to be”, because as soon as I approached and tried to take it down, the statue came to life. Apparently she was a student from the Penwall Arts Academy and she was doing some sort of performance art piece for her class. This is not an uncommon occurrence, of course; students are even permitted to create permanent works of art around the city such as sculpture or murals, provided that they obtain the correct permits first.
  This student did not obtain the correct permits.
  She became very angry when I informed her that because it hadn't been done with malicious intent, she wasn’t in trouble, but she was going to have to vacate the premises so we could clean out the fountain.
 
After some back and forth, she eventually got off the fountain and left, but not before splashing me with chocolate and ruining my tie.
  Her instructor has been informed and resources have been provided for how to apply for the proper permits and grants when any public property is utilized in their classwork. Hopefully this will be last incident of this kind for a while. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
Image donated to the report by Imogen
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad standing by the Chocolate Fountain with a chocolate student on top
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This article is a comprehensive explanation of the “Chocolate Fountain Incident”, as told by Incident Reports and supporting documentation from the archives of House Ailurus.

 
Location:
Penwall
 
Date Artwork Was Created:
by StoryArcs&Subplots
Date Artwork Was Decomissioned:
by StoryArcs&Subplots

Incident Report # 17789: The 2nd Chocolate Fountain

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 6th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
by StoryArcs&Subplots (Heroforge)
Image donated to the report by Imogen
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad facepalming by the Chocolate Fountain with four chocolate students on top

Unfortunately, it appears that closing report # 17786 was premature, as the students of the Penwall Arts Academy have rallied behind the instigator of the first chocolate fountain incident. She has whipped them into a cultlike frenzy, something about laws having no boundary over “true art”, and they have made it their mission to reinstate their “masterpiece”.
  I would genuinely be impressed with their dedication if it wasn’t my laws they were trying to thwart. Hell, I’d be tempted to let the chocolate fountain stay if it wasn’t an active safety hazard. I wasn’t nearly as dedicated to my own thesis.
 
But the fact remains that they, once again, did not obtain the proper permits and did not do a risk assessment of any sort, and the cost of once again cleaning out the chocolate from the filters is significantly eating into the maintenance budget for the Park. This time, it took several extra people to get the four students safely down from the top of the fountain, as they had padlocked themselves to the fountain as some form of protest.
  I wish I could say “Good on them, stick it to the Man!” But unfortunately, in this situation, I am the Man. And if one of them had actually managed to hurt themselves during the stunt — or worse, a civilian — the Academy and by extension, all of House Ailurus, would have found themselves with a lot of very bad press.
  I gave all the students involved a stern talking-to, and hopefully they have learned their lesson and revolution isn’t on their minds anymore. If not… I’m running out of excuses not to charge them with vandalism. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.

Incident Report # 17794: Many Chocolate Fountains

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 10th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
Given that a full four days passed in between the date of the last incident and this one, I had naively begun to hope that the whole business might be over and done with.
  No such luck.
  Today, I was awoken by the news that not one, but all of the fountains in the Penwall Community Garden had been converted to chocolate fountains overnight.
 
I still haven’t figured out exactly how they did it. The chemistry behind it is fascinating. But it is indeed a dilute solution of chocolate in the water itself, not just an illusion. I wish my position didn’t require that I punish the perpetrators for destruction of public property instead of asking them how they did it.
  But unfortunately, the filters in the fountains were all completely overtaxed by this endeavor, to the point where we’ve had to replace two of them now. The cost of the filters, unfortunately, put this over the limit of petty vandalism and into willful destruction of public property. I suppose I should be grateful none of the students stuck around to witness their handiwork this time, so I didn’t have to formerly charge them.
by StoryArcs&Subplots (Heroforge)
Image donated to the report by Imogen
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad by three chocolate fountains, covered in chocolate
Because the filters failed, I and several other staff had to spend most of the day manually cleaning the remaining chocolate out of the fountains. I don’t think I’ll ever get the smell of chocolate out of my fur again. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.

Incident Report # 17795: The Chocolate Fountain Apocalypse

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 11th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
Really?! Really. The night after we just clean up the fountains, they’re full up again?
  And this time, there was some kind of spice mixed in with the chocolate water. Spicy chocolate is usually a delightful culinary combination, but in this instance, it caused excessive sneezing in the cleanup crew. No medical intervention was necessary, thankfully.

Note: make sure Novamoonlight gets hazard pay for helping out with this one.

It is now clear to me that these students aren't going to give up their “performance art”, even though the assignment has already been graded and they all passed (somewhat dubiously). I really wish they'd put their artistic fervor into literally anything else, as this issue is starting to become a major source of frustration for me. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
by StoryArcs&Subplots (Heroforge)
Image donated to the report by Imogen
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad sneezing and House Librarian Novamoonlight standing next to three chocolate fountains, covered in chocolate

Incident Report # 17798: Extra Guard Shifts Due to the Ongoing Chocolate Fountain Incidents

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 13th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
It was decided that preventative measures needed to be initiated, as cleanup after the fact wasn't working as an effective deterrent. We established some extra guard shifts in the Penwall Community Garden and allowed some of the more nocturnal folk, including myself, sign up for those shifts.
  These shifts were established the night between May 11th and May 12, and proved a success. Several students came by the park in the early hours of the morning, and the sight of the guards sent them on their way before they could chocolate-ify the fountains.
 
However, the next night, between May 12th and May 13th, the students changed their plan. Instead of targeting the fountains, they targeted the guards themselves with some kind of cocoa-glitter-smoke-bombs. These Glitterbombs obscured the area enough that the students could escape, and left the guards looking like they had been dipped in chocolate glitter.
  I am hereby stating in this Incident Report that THEY STARTED THIS ESCALATION. Any measures I take from here on out to neutralize this threat to our community will be entirely justified.
  Right after I take a 3 hour bath to get all the chocolate glitter out of my fur.
  Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
by StoryArcs&Subplots (Heroforge)
Image "anonymously" donated to this report
Image Notes: Seneshal Happyhappysad in coyote form, House Librarian Novamoonlight in panther form, and House Meles Co-Librarian and Brocktree Imogen in raccoon form in a bathtub.

Side note: I'm pretty sure Archon The Bard with Many Names took this photo while I wasn't paying attention. Also, Imogen didn't have any chocolate on her. She just wanted to get in the bath with Nova and I.

Purchase Requisition Form


  Supplier: House Lapin
  Customer: House Ailurus
  Item Requested for Purchase: Tentacle Goo
  Reason for Purchase: Due to an ongoing glitter prank war by some students of the Penwall Arts Academy, we would like to request to purchase some Tentacle Goo from House Lapin to help with the de-glitterification efforts, if Princess Sunny is willing to provide some.

Incident Report #17799: More F*&^ing Chocolate in the Fountains

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 15th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
Biting students is not an appropriate method of conflict resolution.
  Biting students is not an appropriate method of conflict resolution.
  BITING STUDENTS IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE METHOD OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION!

Incident Report # 17802: Fire in the Park

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 19th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
by StoryArcs&Subplots
Official case photograph by Seneshal Happy
Image Notes: A slightly charred chocolate fountain.

  Today at approximately 0749 hours, a fountain in the Penwall Community Garden was set on fire. The fire lasted for approximately 4 minutes and caused no significant damage.
  In my defense, the fountain was filled with F*&^ING CHOCOLATE-
  The responsible party has been fined the appropriate amount for vandalism. I have promptly paid said fine to avoid any late fees. Please see attached documentation for further clarification.

Notification of Civil Misdemeanor

Fine Type: Yearly Income Scale (1%)
  Issued to: Seneschal Happyhappysad
  Date Issued: May 19th, 2026
  Reason for Misdemeanor: Subject purposefully set fire to a public fountain in the Penwall Community Gardens during a routine inspection. Subject quickly regretted their actions and helped put the fire out. Minimal damage was sustained to the fountain itself, since it was filled with chocolate water at the time, but the fountain required extensive cleaning to get out the soot and the smell of smoke in addition to the removal of the chocolate.
  Criminal Penalties: No
  Civil Penalties: Monetary fine, plus mandatory community service
  Status: Fine paid in full; community service requirement fulfilled by working unpaid night shifts on the ongoing Chocolate Fountain Incident.
  Date Closed: May 20th, 2026

Incident Report # 17805: Emergency Measures to Fight the Ongoing Chocolate Fountain War

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 21st, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
The entire park smells of chocolate. The trees are covered in glitter. I’m pretty sure Bard was involved in that one. I can’t prove it, but I can sure as hell make sure he knows how… unamused I am. Personally.
  It’s time to escalate to emergency measures. Instead of waiting for the next attack, I’m going to to take the fight to the enemy.
  No warning. No mercy. No regrets.
  Please see attached documentation for further clarification.
by StoryArcs&Subplots
Official case photograph by Seneshal Happy
Image Notes: A chocolate fountain with nearby bushes and trees covered in glitter.

Incident Report # 17807: Temporary Closure of the Penwall Community Garden for a New Student Art Exhibit

Report filed by: Seneshal Happyhappysad
  Date of Incident: May 24th, 2026
  Location of Incident: Penwall Community Garden
 
Description of Incident:
After several weeks of incidents involving students at the Penwall Arts Academy turning the public fountains of the Penwall Community Garden into chocolate fountains, a mandatory seminar was held for the whole class on the topic of Art, Ethics, and The Law. The students involved in the Incident were given a mandatory community service project to create a fully functional, completely safe version of the unauthorized artwork, utilizing all necessary permits. The students were also required to go through the risk assessment and grant approval process for funding.
  From the way they complained, you'd think that this was a worse punishment than actual jail time.
  (I enjoyed it far more, at least.)
  Attached, please see the supporting documentation from the seminar and artwork installation.

Art, Ethics, and the Law: Student Worksheet

Laws exist to protect the individuals and overall stability of our society. But that doesn't mean that laws are infallible. Laws are written by individuals, and those individuals can be selfish, cruel, or just plain fallible.
  Art has a very important place in our society to critique laws. As artists, we have a moral duty to ask ourself if our society and our laws are just, because what we put in our art will be reflected back to us by our society, whether we intend it to be or not.
  Some might argue that we have a duty to break the law with our art when we feel that law is unjust. But I urge each and every one of you to think about the laws you want to violate with your art and why they exist. If those laws only serve to consolidate power among the already powerful, or the oppress or harm vulnerable people, then those laws deserve to be broken. But if those laws are intended to protect people, then breaking those laws could put yourself and your neighbors at risk.
  In the following box, please write a short essay discussing an appropriate and an inappropriate example of breaking the law with art.
by StoryArcs&Subplots
Note: 23 additional essays were collected as part of this semenar.
 

Risk Assessment

The following risk assessment was done by a class of students at Penwall Arts Academy under the direction of Seneshal Happyhappysad.
 
Risk Type Risk Explanation Countermeasure
Mechanical Hazards Excessive pump and filter strain. Grant application for better filter and pump to prevent fountain breakdown.
Ergonomic Hazards Ergonomic exertion from balancing on top of the fountain for long periods of stillness. 2 hour time limit for all performance artists.
Slips, Trips, and Falls Slippery paths near the fountain from chocolate spray. Grant application for decorative fencing to be included around the fountain.
Chemical Hazards People trying to drink the water. Signs posted not to drink the water; embitterant added to water to discourage children from drinking the water.
Biological Hazards Food material in the water spoiling and creating a place for insect and bacteria growth. Versomantic illusion in place of actual food particles in the water.

Grant Application Essay

by StoryArcs&Subplots

Art Installation Permit

Type: Modification of an existing public feature
  To be Performed by: Penwall Arts Academy Students
  Reason: School project
  Risk Assessment: Complete
  Grant Status: Approved, pending payout to third party vendors
  Length of Installation: Permanent platform for future temporary performance art, to be no longer than 2 hours per person per performance
  Description of Installation: Okay, we've filled out all the paperwork. We get it! Safey rules are there for a reason! Can we please be done now?
  Approval Status: Approved by Seneshal Happyhappysad, May 24rd, 2026

End of Report



Cover image: by SableAradia

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