NMCF 4 - Impact and Self Care

Impacts with Self Care Tips

The Hardest House Fall is Your Own

Expect a gut punch unlike any other house fall you’ve been in, because it can feel like you and your Undead Horde are the ones causing the fall because that's how it happens in lore.

In the game side: You and the Horde are not responsible for the fall!
It's the game mechanics and point tallies that make this happen.

Expect the possibility of crying on stream if you find out there.

If you think at all this might happen to you, you can ask to know ahead of time when your old house falls. This may only be a short while before the stream (some times less than 1 hour depending on how long it takes to get results), but it may help you at least hold together on stream.

It can also be a weird moment of joy as friends join your ranks and start the party.

It can feel like coming home.

You are also allowed to enjoy that feeling.

Most of the time, the same amount of people will curse the wheel for taking them as they will curse it for NOT taking them.

The Drive

Because you are a House Leader for the only game-wise disadvantaged House, you will likely feel a drive to push yourself harder for words than you have before. This happened to Shy and Bard.

General Self Care

by Shadow OG

You have to do stuff to calm your nervous system. This is the only way by which I (Sable) function, especially in November. Shy and I have some tools to help you with that if you need them. Meditation, walks in nature, play with the furbabies… you know, all the stuff the SCM encourages you to do. You may feel like you don’t have time to do them… you need to make time.

I realize this is hilarious coming from me (Sable) but try not to take this too seriously. (Good advice from my partners. Hard to follow, advice I'm not good at, but good advice and I do try.)

I think I'm beginning to realize that part of the reason NMs burn out is because they get to experience the game and the community a little bit (not identical, but similar) like how I experience it. There's all the behind the scenes planning, all the coordinating, and most of all, the expectations.
On one hand, people elevate you to almost a cult status. On the other, they blame you for everything that goes wrong and if you can't function perfectly while under severe stress and no sleep, people take it like a slap in the face. It feels like walking on eggshells all the time, and yet it's also deliriously fun because you get to create things you never could otherwise. It's a fever dream.
So if you're going to continue doing it, you gotta do two things at the same time:
Listen to all the critique. Try not to get too defensive. Ask yourself, "Am I really doing this, that people say I am doing? Even unconsciously? If not, am I coming across that way? Can I fix it? Should I fix it?"

Filk the haters. There's always gonna be people who are unhappy with the job you do. People don't like people when they're in charge. They take out their parental issues on you. They see you as a meanie and a failure if you can't do everything perfectly, and you won't, despite your very best efforts.

And this is why I do a lot of venting behind the scenes. Or reality checking. Because the pain is real. But so is the joy.
— Sable

Inter-personal/Inter-house

The Public's Reaction

People will have nasty things to say sometimes because they don’t like what you are doing.

Their reaction is on them. Yours is on you.

If you have an issue with someone take it to the mods. They are a good team. (Shy found Bard and Eiliagh to have especially level heads and are often available. Ru was a good listening ear. All the mods were excellent and helpful.)

Houses Have Different Cultures

Each House has different temperaments, styles of working, and levels of how much they'll participate.

Some will want to be gung ho and might be pushy about their own ideas for the scripts (which they have a right to be - it’s their story too!) and others may be happy to let you write everything in the script for their House fall (which might be frustrating, because you’ll be wanting input and help, and not getting it.) Do what you can to roll with both.

Other team members and NMSS helpers can help you if you need to mediate with a “pushy” House, or help you gently boot people in the behind if you need that.

(Sable knows that this is ultimately her job, and she will always help you with that, but she doesn’t want to do it all the time, so try to go to her for the butt-kicking as a last resort.)