The March Hares

The March Hares are provided with the best military equipment that Lapin has to offer whenever possible. This may or may not help them, however, given that they frequently work closely with Literomancers, particularly members of the Lapin Royal Family while they are on the field.

The standard arms of the platoon are L5 Bullpup Rifles "Lapin Typewriters". Grenadiers are equipped with the grenade launcher version of this weapon. Heavy-weapons operators, sometimes known as "pig-men," are armed with L7 Lapin Squad automatic weapons, which are 7.62 mm suppression weapons, similar to M-60s or M-249s. "Rabscuttles," who are assistants to the "pig-men," are armed with pump-action short-barreled shotguns with pistol grips, known as "Rabbithole Roomsweepers." Medics carry L6s, which are carbine versions of the "Lapin Typewriters."

Typically, the March Hares use rapid attack vehicles when vehicles are required, such as TAPVs. However, they are often teleported or airlifted to the battleground, especially in small actions or insertions.

As part of the PRRLI, the March Hares are directly commanded by RSM Elaine Murphy, answerable to Lt. Julia Rogers, who answers to Cpt. Darwinder Singh. Prior to The Great Migration, the regiment commander was Col. Geoffrey Constantine Nadeau, LSV. Since he was killed in action, they are now commanded by Col. Margo Wellington.   As in any standard Lapin platoon, the March Hares are divided into four squads of six soldiers. Each has a nickname that is commonly used within the PRRLI, although those nicknames are not part of their official designations. Each squad is commanded by a Sergeant or a Master Sergeant, except Squad 1, which is commanded by a Sergeant Major. All other squad commanders answer to him.

In general, the March Hares provide military support for small Tome Knight-led actions. In a typical theatre of war, they aid such efforts as sabotage of key resources, kidnapping enemy literomancers, or eliminating high-profile targets. They have also been used for such actions as investigating Void rifts, dealing with paramilitary supernatural threats, and aiding in the evacuation of the 1337 Speak Reality.   March Hares actions are often military escorts for key "literomancer assets". They protect literomancers from being overwhelmed while they get into position to do the things they need to do, and eliminate threats as they proceed. They often fight monsters, Zombies, and other supernatural and semi-natural threats. As a result, they have extensive military training in a variety of trades, including demolitions, engineering, combat medic, and the use of heavy firepower. Since magic is so unpredictable, they need to react quickly, and be ready for anything.

In order to join, or maintain membership in, the March Hares, a volunteer is required to pass an obstacle course for combat readiness. This includes a 20 foot leap from a 6 foot incline, something that generally, only powerful rabbit legs can do. Aerobic and physical fitness standards are also extremely high.

On a typical battlefield, the March Hares are supplied just as any other members of the Princess Rowean's Royal Light Infantry. However, they often find themselves in irregular combat zones, and must therefore rely on what they can scrounge or carry.

As a special forces unit, the March Hares are able to call for air strikes or artillery bombardment at their discretion. However, in many actions, especially black ops, these options may not be available.

As is often the case among the Lapin military, there is never any shortage of volunteers for this respected, elite unit. The bunnykin see it as a point of pride to be accepted into the March Hares.  

When we came here from our native reality, Sable-rah embraced us with open arms. She made us welcome, took a personal interest in establishing us, and made us feel like a part of Lapin right away, even though we were some of the earliest non-Human sentients. She didn't have to do that. Because of that, and because she, and her siblings, are always down in the shit with us, we adore them. If they asked us to follow them into hell, we'd ask when we were leaving.

— Cpl Babina "Babs" Lewis, March Hares

  While there is no formal ritual once a volunteer has been accepted into the March Hares, there is a traditional hazing that involves getting extremely drunk on a "gawd-awful" blend of Rabbit Crack and carrot whisky, and getting a unit tattoo — an angry-looking cigar-champing rabbit with an army helmet — usually on the right bicep. Furrier March Hares will shave the tattoo area to improve its visibility.