The Houndstooth Company

In accordance with The Treaty of Monte Carlo "The Bodyguard Treaty," Houndstooth maintains a roster of 20 soldiers, including all 5 of the permitted allotment of Literomancers. For some reason, there is never any shortage of volunteers.

The Houndstooth Company may call for air strikes or artillery bombardment, and other forms of military support as needed.  

If this doesn't worry anyone, it should.

— Queen Sable

The Major recruits troops to the company through personal invitation only. It is said that in order to qualify, you have to be as crazy as he is.  

Yes, and you also have to have the appropriate elite training.

— Queen Sable

The Houndstooth Company was initially formed under mysterious circumstances during the societal collapse in The First Word War. In point of fact, despite the persistent rumour that Major Barbarossa the Wayfinder, commonly known among Tome Knights as "Sparkles," dug them up from a bunch of hicks and mountain men, the truth is that they were the survivors of a company of Rocky Mountain Rangers who braved the cold wilderness of Northern Canada for most of that first November, after they were dispatched to Stewart Crossing, BC, to deal with The Nite Qing and the Zombies he was amassing.   The Houndstooths have a reputation as a bunch of filk-ups and shit-disturbers. The public hears who is in command of them, and who the members are, and they shake their heads and mutter oaths to their gods. To a man, the company is regarded as a bunch of trouble-makers and all-around idiots.  

MAROON ALERT! MAROON ALERT! Sparkles is in The Warren!

— Owsla Captain James Woodwright over comms in the Owsla Security Office

Bloody 'ell, I'll go secure the library.

— Owsla Commander DM Stretch

And I'll shut down the security elevators.

— Owsla Commander Kitoypoy

I'll lock down the kitchen and grab the industrial hoovers.

— Owsla Lieutenant Dame Flubb

I'll get a camera. For... documentation of evidence, for security purposes. chuckle

— Owsla Lieutenant Cheetya Ironfist

  This is not an inaccurate characterization. These are exactly the sort of troops who are often described by their superiors as "a bunch of clowns." The Owsla view them as a "security menace," and they have made some classic blunders... like the time Major Wayfinder dosed Queen Sable Aradia with Mykola Lapin-Void's sleep dust at Tomesmas, potentially causing a major diplomatic incident...  

She NEEDED a nap!

— Major Wayfinder in his own defense

  ...Or when it was discovered that the whole accompanying sequence of misadventures that befell the Lapin Queen that holiday season was because the Major had written Dickens fan-fiction in the pages of The Iron Tome.  

...I'm sorry...

— Major Wayfinder when called before The Council of the Great Houses to account for his actions

  They are also remembered for being absolute menaces as Undead. More than one military strategist has opined that keeping them from having any sort of top secret information access would probably be advisable.  

WHAT the filk was THAT?!

— Lieutenant Dame Flubb at The Battle of Zafforza City, after a massive explosion

Depth charge! Which means they've got a plane, a submarine, or— enraged growl Gah! Sparkles' B-52 bomber! Dammit, I knew that was a bad idea!

— Queen Sable's reply

  As a result, their reputation is... less than stellar.   But the truth is, despite their... idiocyncrasies, the Houndstooth Company has some of the best military training in all of House Ailurus, and their ability under fire has been as useful as their slight insanity and their "initiative" has... not.   People forget, for example, that the Houndstooth Company was in charge of the defense of the Literomantic Batteries that powered the Woodland Family Alliance's Transcontinental Portal during The Battle of Aldergrove... and those who don't often dismiss their actions because ultimately, the defense failed.  

Archon, our position has been compromised. We cannot hold the Generators anymore. We are prepping evac from the Batteries and... by the Tome. Just how many are there?

— Major Wayfinder at the Battle of Aldergrove (transcript of radio recording)

  However, the Houndstooths held the Batteries and Generator for more than 2 hours against an overwhelming horde of zombies, some of which maintained military combat skills. This feat was accomplished through effective use of defensive features in the bunker that held the Batteries, as well as a skilled perimeter defense involving pit traps and the liberal use of explosives. The number of zombies was estimated in the thousands.  

Archon... we have to go.

— Major Wayfinder, said gently to Archon Mykola Lapin-Void after the loss of Foxx at the Battle of Aldergrove

  Further, after accomplishing this feat, they somehow managed to blow the Batteries so they wouldn't fall into enemy hands, and escape to the site of the transcontinental portal... whereupon they successfully held the line against The Undead Horde to cover the escape of the Woodlander House Leaders from The Warren, including the critically injured, and unconscious, Lapin Queen.   People also tend to forget that it was Major Wayfinder who lead House Ailurus when most of the leadership was undead during The Fifth Word War, and again in the spring of the following year, when Archon Mykola passed away unexpectedly, and before the Council of Ailurus was formed.  

Sparkles is in charge? Sparkles?! Oh dear Frith...

— Queen Sable after the Battle of the Treehouse, 5WW

  And people don't know about their numerous black ops, during which they worked in tandem with the Owsla, Queen Sable, and Erin Righ to eliminate the illegal terrorist activities of The Company... which proves that not only can these jokers handle a situation when the chips are down, they are also capable of showing discretion, and keeping their mouths shut, contrary to popular belief.  

You didn't see any of this, right?

— Panda Polemarch Senna Nightshade to the Houndstooth Company after a somewhat destructive black op in Antarctica

SIR! NO, SIR!

— The Houndstooth Company

  But this seems to work for Major Wayfinder just fine. From all reports, he and his troops take their lumps whenever they are subjected to disciplinary actions with cheerful smiles and little complaint (except perhaps some comic whining.) Perhaps he is crazy like a fox, and recognizes the value in being underestimated.  

I tried to give him a medal for Aldergrove... he said fine, as long as I didn't tell anyone. So it's a classified military secret that Sparkles has a Lapin Star of Valour. It's in a box in a safe with his name on it.

— Queen Sable, explaining to Commander Kitoypoy why he should cut Major Wayfinder a break

The Houndstooth Company started as a semi-independent unit under House Chiroptera during the reign of Siobhan the Writer. When the Knightwings were formed, they changed their affiliation to assist the newly-forming House Ailurus. They have remained among the most loyal Pandas ever since.