LitWatch News 2025 04
Mafia War Rages!
On April 26, 2025 a meme bomb was dropped in the Self Care Cafes and sparked an all-out turf war. Witnesses say someone wearing bright orange was seen fleeing the scene. They may have had wings like a dragon.
The LitWatch News contacted both mafias for comment.
Oyabun ShyRedFox of the Self Care Mafia said, “It was so out of the blue! Here we were talking of merging, then the meme bomb hit...maybe the Support Syndicate Truce was never really meant to be long term? It took me a bit to recover and plan.”
SCM Captain Archon The Bard with Many Names added, “The SCM’s honor was on the line after the attack. We HAD to retaliate.”
The Chaos Cartel could only be reached for a phone interview. The Capo said, “Apparently, my new 2IC's affectionate teasing was taken as some kind of attack. To then escalate by dropping a bio-hazard into the Coffee Shop... well, of course, they realize, this means war.”
The LitWatch News contacted both mafias for comment.
Oyabun ShyRedFox of the Self Care Mafia said, “It was so out of the blue! Here we were talking of merging, then the meme bomb hit...maybe the Support Syndicate Truce was never really meant to be long term? It took me a bit to recover and plan.”
SCM Captain Archon The Bard with Many Names added, “The SCM’s honor was on the line after the attack. We HAD to retaliate.”
They are totally doing it for the exercise challenge, aren’t they?
The Chaos Cartel could only be reached for a phone interview. The Capo said, “Apparently, my new 2IC's affectionate teasing was taken as some kind of attack. To then escalate by dropping a bio-hazard into the Coffee Shop... well, of course, they realize, this means war.”
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The SCM claims full responsibility for dropping a copy of Miss Manners’ - Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior into the Chaos Coffee Shop. Witnesses reported screams and smoke coming from the establishment.
The only apparent casualties were the book on manners and a coffee table that were ejected from the premises. The remains of both are a pile of ashes.
After that all hell broke loose. Fighting erupted in both the Self Care Cafe and the Chaos Coffee Shop. Local authorities report Glitter, paint, gummy vitamins, Dust Bunnies, and reminder sticky notes covered every surface. Rumors of a mankini abound and that it can not be unseen.
Just when things seemed to have settled down after a single day of peace, it started back up again. Evidently there were glitter laced brownies laying in plain view in the Chaos Coffee Shop. Shyredfox was seen taking one and muttering something about a break and snack. It’s unclear if Shyredfox actually paid for the brownie.
When questioned by authorities, Shyredfox claims she did pay for it and that stuff in the coffee shop is usually free but she ensures she leaves a tip.
...of course, they realize, this means war.
The only apparent casualties were the book on manners and a coffee table that were ejected from the premises. The remains of both are a pile of ashes.
After that all hell broke loose. Fighting erupted in both the Self Care Cafe and the Chaos Coffee Shop. Local authorities report Glitter, paint, gummy vitamins, Dust Bunnies, and reminder sticky notes covered every surface. Rumors of a mankini abound and that it can not be unseen.
Just when things seemed to have settled down after a single day of peace, it started back up again. Evidently there were glitter laced brownies laying in plain view in the Chaos Coffee Shop. Shyredfox was seen taking one and muttering something about a break and snack. It’s unclear if Shyredfox actually paid for the brownie.
When questioned by authorities, Shyredfox claims she did pay for it and that stuff in the coffee shop is usually free but she ensures she leaves a tip.
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The Capo, whom according to rumor is Queen Sable Aradia, has vowed to counter attack.
Shyredfox just rolled her eyes when asked if she had a comment and muttered about learning to share.
Word on the street says someone switched the coffee and tea to decaf and the sugar is missing in the coffee shop. And only vegetables seem to be arriving there for deliveries. No one has claimed responsibility so far.
Will there be peace between the two factions ever again? Will the mess in both the cafe and coffee shop be cleaned up before the next tourney?
Sharing - it’s something we shoulda all learned in kindergarten. ‘Ya know?
Well, now we have to clean up the Coffee Shop, don't we? I wonder if that was their master plan all along?
Word on the street says someone switched the coffee and tea to decaf and the sugar is missing in the coffee shop. And only vegetables seem to be arriving there for deliveries. No one has claimed responsibility so far.
Will there be peace between the two factions ever again? Will the mess in both the cafe and coffee shop be cleaned up before the next tourney?
by Shyredfox + Moonflower
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